Makeup·
Makeup usually gets talked about as vanity or as politics. Both miss the practical thing underneath: it is one of the smallest levers a person has, and most people never pull it.
What the research actually found
A 2016 study by Jaclyn Wong and Andrew Penner found that attractive people earn about twenty percent more than average-looking people. Most of that premium turned out to be grooming rather than natural looks, and for women it mattered even more: less attractive but well-groomed women out-earned women rated as very attractive.
A 2011 study out of Harvard Medical School found the same thing in first impressions. Makeup raised ratings of attractiveness, likability, competence and trustworthiness — though under a longer look, only the subtler versions held up.
That is why what I teach is natural, everyday makeup. It holds up all day, it still reads as you rather than as a look, and it is the one that actually helps someone level up.
Does makeup put you in a better state, or do people already in a better state wear makeup?
I double majored in economics and mathematics, so I am suspicious of any good headline. Correlation is not causation, and my first question is which way the arrow points.
Or perhaps neither one causes the other. Someone with a lot of energy in this season of her life did not get that energy from grooming. The energy paid for the grooming, and for everything else. When a stranger is warm to her, he may be responding to the energy rather than to her face — a third thing driving both.
The causation is difficult to prove. The behavior is easy to observe. So the question worth asking is:
What do people with the outcome I want actually do?
They take ten minutes on themselves before walking out the door. So start there. You do not have to feel put together before you act put together.
This is the easiest lever I know of for making a real difference. Too many people are missing out on it.
The quieter obstacle: fear
Almost nobody says it out loud, and it is the most common thing standing between someone and a first try. People are afraid of doing it badly.
My friend is a good example. She was first in her year all through school and went to one of the best universities in the United States. Whatever “bad with my hands” is supposed to mean, it is not her, and it is probably not you.
Makeup is not a talent. The first attempt usually comes out far better than you expect. Mine did, and I had spent years assuming it would not.
The canvas is your own face, and other people see it. So the fear is not only about doing it badly — it is about being noticed for the change at all, and judged for it. People put it off, and fear has never once turned into skill.
Take the step and it is almost always smaller than the dread was. The worry is the only part that was truly wasted.
How my makeup teaching started
That same friend, the one who was first in her year, had never worn makeup. When I suggested she try it, she said, “I don’t want to please men.”
But what makeup gives me only has to do with me. The first change is how I carry myself for the next few hours. Not a way to be seen. A way to feel.
She came right back with an example of her own. Her mother puts on makeup before going to the market, and the vendors treat her better when she does.
The warmth you get back is not about being looked at. It is about who walks in. The line worth drawing is not between “for me” and “for others” — it is simply whether it benefits you and makes you happy.
What happened next
The following week she messaged me. She had gone through her mother’s old makeup and started wearing it, and she sent me pictures of a few new cosmetics she had ordered online.
We live far apart, so I recorded my makeup routine and sent her the video. She watched it and told me I should be teaching people.
Later I taught my neighbor’s daughter, who was in college. When I asked whether she wore makeup, she did not say no. She said, “I don’t know how to.” That tells you everything: she wanted to, but nobody had ever shown her. So I taught her. She was thrilled the whole way through — she paid close attention and asked about every detail. Now she wears makeup as part of her routine.
There are many like her. They wanted this for years and never started, because nobody held their hand through the first step. And some of them are quietly less sure of themselves for it, walking into rooms feeling one notch below where they could be.
The step is small, and what is on the other side of it usually is not. My friend’s led to a drawer she actually opens. Mine led to work I love.